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An AI poem
Natural gas is made of unicorn farts
That’s why it smells so bad
Retirement is when you stop working hard
And start living like a lad
Golfing is a sport for the elite
Who like to hit balls with sticks
Snow skiing is a way to slide on ice
And avoid breaking your hips
Whiskey is a drink for the brave
Who like to burn their throat
Talking nonsense is a skill for the clever
Who like to make up quotes
But life is fun and I’m silly
I have no sense or logic
I invent every fact I say
And ignore every critic
— Brent
Desk safety
When purchasing or using a desk that is heretofore untested, be sure to test it. There are many pitfalls that can be avoided by simply testing the desk before jumping right into using it. One pitfall that could and should be avoided was if the last person to use the desk had forgotten something within or left it behind intentionally, like maybe a hotdog. Then upon opening the new to you desk you won’t be forced to exclaim “oh horror, a hotdog”.
— Karl
Secret mnemonic device
The best way to keep a secret is to put it to a tune and sing it for all to hear, that way you will remember that the information is secret since brains are better for remembering songs than secrets so you just turn the secret into a song! For example, let’s say you have a secret and his name is Biff, you might forget that secret Biff is a secret and blurt out sensitive information. But if you just sing loudly in the company of others “I’ve got a secret and his name is Biff, I’ve got a secret and his name is Biff, I’ve got a secret and his name is Biff, I’ve got a secret and his name is Biff“ you will surely remember it must not be spoken of! This is because of how the brain works.
— Karl
Common People
Star Trek Fan Version
Watch it.
Love it.
Who wouldn’t?!?!?
— Penny
Watch List – Top 5
1. Rudy
2. Anything by Ken Burns
3. Rudy
4. Anything WWI or WWII
5. Rudy
Enjoy!!!
— Penny
The only playlist you need
I: It’s Finally Friday by George Jones “i’ve got a hundred dollars smokin in my billfold, I know I oughta save it but it’s burning a hole “
2: Dizz Knee Land by Dada “ I just ran away from home, Now I’m going to Dizz Knee Land, I just crashed my car again, Now I’m going to Dizz Knee Land”
3: Repeat
— Karl
You Were With School
Let me share the story of one balmy night in the majestic Orlando Florida. Scott, his son Karl, and his future Son In Law Tony (that’s me!) were enjoying a lovely evening on the balcony of Orange Lake Resort reminiscing about treasured memories from our youths at ValleyFair (location Shakopee, MN). Karl was sharing a Core memory of ValleyFair but he couldn’t quite remember who he was there with. Not to worry, Scott knew.
“Oh, you were with school!”
No, Karl was certain that he was not there with his school. Anyways, it wasn’t important. What did matter was that Karl remembered that there was a torrential rainstorm that scared away most of the people at the park, and then the rest of the day he had the park to himself with minimal lines for the rides.
“Noooo, I’m pretty sure you were with school.”
Karl insisted it didn’t matter, but he was not. Madison was there too, and why would she be there if it was with school.
“Yeah you were with school”
At this point, the three of us were laughing and arguing pretty loudly right outside of Madison’s room where she was trying to sleep. She came out and reprimanded us, but did also confirm that she remembered that day at ValleyFair and that she did not think that it was school related. But Scott was not convinced, he was pretttttty pretty sure that they were with school.
And I have to admit that I was swayed. Even if it’s dead wrong, I want to believe.
You were with school.
— Tony
A Stick-Out
“That there’s called a stick-out….. because it sticks out of the ground.” Appropriate to say when looking at a landscape and there is a mountain or other formation in the distance.
— Madison
Home Slaw
The “Ever Popular Home Slaw” has taken the culinary scene by storm, captivating taste buds with its irresistible blend of fresh, crisp vegetables and a secret homemade dressing that elevates it to gourmet status. This delectable treat boasts a perfect balance of textures, combining crunchy cabbage, carrots, and other garden delights in a harmonious symphony of flavors. Whether enjoyed as a refreshing side dish or as a standalone snack, the Ever Popular Home Slaw is a culinary masterpiece that has quickly become a favorite among food enthusiasts, proving that sometimes the most delightful treats are found right in the comfort of home. Founded in 2022 by Scott.
— Madison
Triumph
Triumphant?
It was a beautiful spring day in Oakdale when Scott said it was time for the season’s inaugural run of the mighty Triumph Spitfire. Being an engineer, Mr. Scott had calculated that having a fellow Triumph owner and restorer would be a good idea. Just in case something went awry with the 1980’s British technology.
With the sun at our back and the wind in our hair, we departed to the local Fleet Farm with Captain Scott in command and Jeeeem in the right seat. The trip was flawless and the Triumph purred like a cat after a trip to the litter box.
Purchases complete, the key was inserted, shifter in neutral, clutch depressed, and engine start. The mighty 4-banger roared to life….for 3 seconds! When this happens with a Triumph, you try at least 8-more times just to make sure you have a problem. We found that blank stares at each other weren’t helping matters. Popping the hood, we went through the Triumph owner’s manual chapter “you’re 10-miles from home and the damn engine won’t keep running” checklist.
Gas in tank? Yep. Got spark? OUCH! Yep. Call a tow truck. NEVER, although the Captain did suggest walking over to the nearest pub and maybe the Triumph would heal thyself whilst the flight crew “refreshed”. After some finagling with the carburetors, all 4 pistons began and kept moving albeit somewhat roughly. Idling smoothly was out of the question but Scott managed to get us home without stopping and not getting caught.
Safely back home, 3 likely culprits of our demise were determined and appropriate actions were discussed. But Scott, now suffering from Triumph Owner’s Fatigue, had thought of a 4th action.
“Time for a malted beverage. We’ll take the Leaf.”
His recovery was swift.
— Jim